Children think the stupidest things.

[hoveringsombrero]

The above (please to be clicky to see the actual thread) was a thread in /b/ on 4chan that I saved before it went to 404 land. It involves misconceptions people had as children. Some of them just boggle me, was I smarter than the average child or just a terrible nerd? Several people thought the past was black and white due to old TV being in black and white, many people thought girls urinated from their ass. WTF?

The strangest ones I can recall personally thinking was the time I thought the doctor was telling my mother to cut off MY feet, when he actually meant the feet on my PJs (I'm sure I posted that story once, but I cannot find it).

And also, the first boy I had sex with, I thought he only had one testicle. I didn't realise that both nuts were in the same sack. Illustrations in anatomy books don't have any skin on, you know.

Did any of you think things as stupid as some of these /b/tards did?

FESS UP.

Comments

[alouqua0.livejournal.com]

I really believed during thunder storms, it was god and the angles bowling and lightning was angels getting a strike and thunder was god getting a strike.heh Also, I will probably regret putting this on here, but I really thought black people were just really dirty and I specifically remember trying to clean a black kid I was playing with once and getting in the worst trouble.heh

[eris.livejournal.com]

Ok, well here's one in the racist catagory I guess.

I actually thought brazil nuts were called "nigger toes" for years. My mother's father's got a twisted sense of humor, he always carefully said it when my grandmother and mother weren't around. It was more of a "let's see what terrible thing I can get the kid to say at the wrong time" than actual racist, methinks.

Of course, I asked my mother once, at grandparent's cabin, where the bowl of nigger toes were, my grandfather gave himself away by snickering to death, while my mother shushed me, and then chased her father with a newspaper.

[eris.livejournal.com]

I meant to add to it, that I didn't think it was strange cause I thought it was the name of the nut. I'd never heard the word nigger in any other context yet.

[xhappyx.livejournal.com]

actually, they were called nigger toes back many years ago. I grew up hearing people calling them nigger toes for years as a child. It was a regional thing I think. I didn't know they were called Brazil nuts until I was in my teens. I even remember a sign in our Safeway with bulk Brazil nuts stating something like "Nigger Toes 59 cents a pound" or whatever...

[eris.livejournal.com]

Wow, that would be fantastic to have gotten a picture of.

[xhappyx.livejournal.com]

http://niggertoesmovie.com

[eris.livejournal.com]

ha HA, racism.

Movie thing doesn't work for me.

and another I just remembered..

[alouqua0.livejournal.com]

Once we were at my grandmothers and my uncle was(well still is) a huge nerd boy and he had play Spock ears, I didn't know what they were and I'd never seen star wars. I was probably 5 or 6.anyway, it was raining that day and he walked outside in the rain and came back in with the ears on and I thought they really grew like that if you went in the rain because pretty much my whole family joined in on it and the same thing happened to their ears..

Re: and another I just remembered..

[eris.livejournal.com]

Both grandfathers, but more so the same one as above (the only grandparent still alive), had all sorts of games like that, try to convince the kids of strange things.

I guess that's where I get it from, I had my nephew convinced that cats were called elephants.

Re: and another I just remembered..

[xhappyx.livejournal.com]

oh yeah, adults playing games like that. My family used to try and convince me that there was a little man living in the fridge that would turn off and on the light when you opened and closed the fridge door. Of course I never was convinced of that.

Another one, my grandfather that used to pull his dentures out and try to convince us you could pull your teeth out of your mouth like him. I was oddly fascinated but knew something was up with that one too.

Re: and another I just remembered..

[eris.livejournal.com]

YUP, my uncle did the fridge thing, and my great grandfather did the teeth thing.

I played with the fridge till I found the button that turns the light off.

People just make kids so there are new people to fall for their old jokes.

[xhappyx.livejournal.com]

I remember riding in my brothers car and before we turned the blinker of course would signal which way we were about to turn. You could see the arrows on the dash of his car clearly from the back seat showing what way we were about to go. Sure enough, the arrow would blink and we would turn in that direction. So I thought because of this, that if I ever got lost all I had to do was have someone drive me in their car and the car would tell us which way was home. That the arrows would have the map plotted out for us.

I was about 3 or 4 years old at the time.

[eris.livejournal.com]

You were seeing into the future of mobile GPS units!

[xhappyx.livejournal.com]

Proof I invented the GPS like Al Gore invented the internets...

[eris.livejournal.com]

TRUFAX

[coldcontrol.livejournal.com]

File this under "relatives fucking with children."

I grew up in Arizona and California, primarily, but we had a lot of family on the east coast. On one such early trip and what must have been my first time encountering snow in real volume, I noticed rust holes on the body of a car right behind the wheels (where salt-slush kicks up and eats into cars).

I asked my aunt about it, and she told me that was where slush turtles leapt up to take bites out of cars. I remember being skeptical, but still looking in the snow for slush turtles from our car the rest of the trip.

[alouqua0.livejournal.com]

hah! that's awesome

[eris.livejournal.com]

I had no idea such a thing actually happened.

But that's just fantastic, slush turtles.
I choose to believe that it's correct, cause it's just too awesome of an idea not to be.

[filthykitten.livejournal.com]

This is something I wish were true to this day:

When I was about 4 or so, mom took me to the grocery store and naturally had to tell me I couldn't have something because we didn't have enough money for it. To this I replied with "But the money machine is over there, just ask it for some" and pointed to the in-store check-cashing machine (not and ATM, this was about 1984-85, which didn't see a lot of them until later).

Ah, what a wonderful it could be if all you had to do was ask a machine politely for cash...

[eris.livejournal.com]

That is adorable, maybe the money machines are just waiting around for someone to be polite to them, though. Everybody's always so rude to them.

[jloopy.livejournal.com]

good lord. some of those are really funny. i can't think of anything i believe that i later found out was not true.