just livin on a Sunday mornin ....

( song runing through my head which i just typed out the lyrics from memory )

*BIGSIGH*

i'm home
it is my weekend
i stopped in wal mart and bought things

what do single girls buy?
cat food bras and lacy panties

yup

well a tank top and some short pants as well
much indeed

i shall sleep, i left T a couple messages
dunno if he's going to return my calls THIS MONTH
fickle man
pishposh

i wonder how quickly i'll run out of letters if i refer to everybody as letters

i've been informed i'm J's new mistress, oop here we run into conflict, we were all at denny's and his other mistress T was there, hehe, see now i can't have two T's can i? maleT femaleT, well i think if she's ever mentioned again i'll come up with something else, she's having problems and is somewhat homeless right now =/
she took my leftovers i couldn't eat all my buffalo chicken strips that night.

but i think J is not going to be online for talky and won't see him at work till i go back
methinks he's visiting his girlfriend this weekend, i didn't catch why he switched days off to have Friday/Saturday instead of Saturday/Sunday off
*shrug*

the point is since there's not anyone for talky on ...
i think i shall sleep now in case (male)T calls back and wants to do something
mebbie i'll call see if'n tess is around otherwise,
i also should find out if n00dle still wants to do something Tuesday
heh, my large italian friend would be the only nonbrown man i actively talk to heh
and that boy is near as white as me
ok well there is the nonbrown BriMan but he's currently a REDman as he got severely sunburned at OZfest
poor briman =(

HOHAH!
or something
i sleep now.

MEH

talked to BriMan for a bit
then pinky and the kitty which whomps came online

vision is fuzzy
i'm REALLY passing out now
i do promise

a ramble upon waking

*sigh*
i still wish i could fix everyone

i should like to be a fairy godmother who can just *poof* make things right
especially now since i no longer need to do it for myself

things aren't perfect but i feel in control of my own life again finally.
i don't /thatiknowof/ currently associate with anyone who is less than forthcoming with me.
i'm not under the mistaken impression that i'll never be lied to again
nor do i think i'm suddenly above all that.

i'm still me i'm bound to fall for some stupid shit probably again sometime.

here's something which shouldn't be posted publicly cause it's not very eris
i mostly just want to make other people happy
sometimes i do the stupid of trying to be what someone else (even just a friend) wants
cause it makes them happy.
to a small extent this isn't a bad thing,

it seems to make pinky happy when i'm eating properly
so that's actually a larger motivation than my own health
perhaps that's not entirely the best reason but it gets the right result for now.
i get quite distressed when pink has a bad headache, cause i can't fix
then i get annoyed that i'll all distressed.

my mood is often dependant on the happiness of others.
but not as much as it use to be, so that's good i guess.

it's not really a seeking approval i dun think
i just want people i care about to be happy
and i want to be at least part of the cause of the happy.
distressing to no end when there's nothing i can do.

.....................................................................................

in other news the gang at work was very concerned about me
and have been tactfully attempting to get as much information about the sick
desi cornered me and told me they'd been worried about me and wanted to know if i'm ok

i don't' know what to make of all that, i like it, but
you know, the way i think, i'm just a co-worker, and i'm just eris
unsure why i warrant so much concern

i had some stabby pain last night at work so i kinda hid by my cubie wall and thinking nobody was looking allowed the pain to use my face to make an expression.
desi was looking ... and sounding very concerned asked me if i was ok
ACK!
i banished the expression, looked normal and looked at her mildly confused and said something like "what? no nothing, i'm fine" and probably a dismissive gesture or turned away from her.
random concern unsettles me and i don't know how to deal with it.
sorta like random complements
*shrug*

well i should call my mother and go over and get my NEW (BRAND NEW!!!) computer
DSL will be in tomorrow

hehe

and by the way

ERIS IS A NOTFOOD!

back home

putting together computer, monitor is HYOOOOOOJ
it was a bitch to get into my house
i'll post more when windows is installing, still trying to get the tower out of it's many boxes

hmm

i think i want pizza

heh

so, i plugged everything in and could not get the tower to power on
turns out i had to HOLD DOWN the power button
sheesh

took me a bit to remember how to make it quit trying to boot from the A drive and boot from the cdrom
why is A still default? crazy stuff

heh blue screen set up
amusing.

goddamn this monitor is huge
it looks so silly to have white text on blue background on such a huge monitor

the installation errored out the first time, for a little bit i was afraid dale had given me a bad disk
but it seems to be toodling along just fine this time

i think i'm going to attempt to order pizza, i really want pizza but don't want to go anywhere
and i'm kinda boxed in by computer
well i'll have to get up to answer the door i guess

round table sounds good, but that's expensive
maybe pizza hut

oooh it rebooted and now we're to the familiar windows setup screen

weeee!

i ordered pizza from pizza hut
my door isn't easy to find since i don't have my own address

but the driver has a cell fon so they're instructed to call me when they get to my street and i'll just go out and meet
how exciting!
i've been here a year and never ordered pizza

i always thought that i might end up ordering pizza like when i move
but nope, guess i'm doing it before then

computers lead to pizza methinks

i've not eaten today and i've been up since .. 4pmish

=x

*BURP*

yumpizza

the driver called me when he got here i went out and met him and got my pizza

i love stuffed crust!

now i have some pizza delivery guy's cell phone number in my recent calls list
that's kinda weird
makes me want to post it here

heh

*burp*

i'm so full of pizza now

well hello mister poopy pants

i started to make an entry here and i guess i accidentally bumped the reset button

which sent XP into a reboot/scan/reboot/scan/reboot/scan/reboot loop
*hates XP*

so i turned it off all the way, checked the cords
let it sit for a bit and turned it back on
all is well

DSL is on, but i've still got laptop sitting beside me on the dialup
heh.