yes indeed

i might possibly be the world's biggest chump.
i accepted someone's offer to come be with me or at least hug me after the whole ER thing, person never showed
i had a feeling it was a bad idea,
i should have listened to me and kept refusing.
i just really really did not want to be alone.
my stupid ass waited an hour and a half, because i suck

so what's the good news?
more health problems
CAR PROBLEMS

let's see sounds like everfucking thing in the engine is flying apart, and for a bit i was having trouble making it accelerate after shfting into second.

and i got a papercut taking the damn hospital bracelet off my wrist

this whiny angry crap is public so at the very least the people who wish me ill can get some pleasure out out of this, at least it's doing somebody some good

i yelled at the sky all the way home, sticking my head out the window
this is efuckingnuf already
enough
EEEENOUGH
let me live goddamnit, let me have more than a few trouble free months
no more health problems no car issues, nothing NOTHING.

and someone stuff pinky in a box and mail her to me
erisneedshugs

eris should have just called tess earlier.

hello instant karma
i fucked up everything and then everything gets fucked up with me.
i should never talk to anyone or leave my house or BREATHE

i got food, i'm going to try to force myself to eat it and sleep
too angry to cry right now,
i'm not angry at the person who didn't show up
i'm just angry at ...... i don't know i'm just angry.
i just want to be happy without it having to be a conscious effort

i don't know what to think anymore
i don't know what to do anymore
i just don't know.

wish me luck on the eating thing.
=/

(no subject)

I'm a simple woman. I'm in bed, i managed to eat and while i feel strange i do feel better. It's odd how easy it is for me to get use to empty stomach. I'm now going to pretend i'm not me and pass out. Posted from fon at 4:22am.

i'm going to write a book

it's going to be called
"The Big Book of Things That Confuse Eris"

in it will be things like:

how can it be that in the same political platform can co-exist; pro-life, pro- death penalty, and anti-gun control

why do people answer their cell phones in a bathroom stall then carry on a conversation while pooping? i don't answer my home phone in the bathroom, what is so important that can't wait until you wipe and wash your hands?

all women's magazines.