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hoveringsombreroFrom: Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
To: David A. Tijoe
Subject: Re: Racisem
Dear sir David A. Tijoe-
I have thoroughly discussed your impending lawsuit and complaint with my lawyer, Mr. Leonard Crabs. After spending two hours explaining the situation with him, I realized that I wasn't speaking with Mr. Leonard Crabs, but I was in fact talking to an elaborate mannequin he constructed from wax paper and plywood. I was able to successfully track down and find Leonard in his basement, where he was proceeding to construct a reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg by using custom made Curious George figurines he fashioned from soap.
Mr. Crabs asked me if I could relay this message to you, in response to your immediate lawsuit:
I'M YOUR MOTHER NOW!!!"
Leonard then slapped his buttocks with his right arm and made a sound not unlike a train whistle. I'm not sure what that means, but I don't think it bodes well for your legal challenge. Please continue to keep me updated with the information regarding your lawsuit.
Thank you,
-Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
To: David A. Tijoe
Subject: Re: Racisem
Dear sir David A. Tijoe-
I have thoroughly discussed your impending lawsuit and complaint with my lawyer, Mr. Leonard Crabs. After spending two hours explaining the situation with him, I realized that I wasn't speaking with Mr. Leonard Crabs, but I was in fact talking to an elaborate mannequin he constructed from wax paper and plywood. I was able to successfully track down and find Leonard in his basement, where he was proceeding to construct a reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg by using custom made Curious George figurines he fashioned from soap.
Mr. Crabs asked me if I could relay this message to you, in response to your immediate lawsuit:
"Sir-
If I had an ounce of rope for every two bit Nancy Boy who dare challenge my
legal arms, I would have more rope than Stanly Frebowski, the Rope King of
San Antonio. Please forward me the name of your lawyer, so I may attack him
with the fury of righteousness and injure him with my LEGAL FURY. I look
forward to receiving documents detailing your case, and will use them as a
BIB when I dine on fine lobster and Coca Cola tonight!
-LEONARD CRABS
I'M YOUR MOTHER NOW!!!"
Leonard then slapped his buttocks with his right arm and made a sound not unlike a train whistle. I'm not sure what that means, but I don't think it bodes well for your legal challenge. Please continue to keep me updated with the information regarding your lawsuit.
Thank you,
-Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
