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I got caught up in some ridiculous rapewank on AMA, which ended up in me getting a mention in sf_d.
But I'd like to be actual serious on the topic for a bit, here, in my own journal.
It frustrates me that this is yet another topic that turns into a zero sum game. Either you agree that all men are rapists and potential rapists and no woman ever is capable of making up rape, or you're a misogynistic asshole who has probably already raped someone. Or these boobs which exempt me from the possibility of claiming rape falsely also don't exempt me from being a misogynistic asshole if I don't agree with all other females.
By the logic of the thinkers on the far end of the spectrum, I have been raped. I have been raped multiple times, actually, by their definition. I was young and sexually inexperienced, and my boyfriend at the time would whine and cry until I said yes, and then would go at it while I just laid there and stared at the ceiling waiting for it to be over.
By their definition this is rape, is it by mine? No.
Did it suck and was it mentally and emotionally damaging and did it take me a good chunk of my life to come to terms with? Absofuckinglutely.
Could I have prevented this situation? Also absolutely.
Does this make it my fault? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Does this make HIM a rapist? ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was absolutely a terrible situation, and he was probably at some measure of fault for not noticing that I didn't really want what was going on. Which puts it in the category of unwanted sexual activity, but not rape.
The issue is that any unwanted sexual activity is a terribly emotionally charged situation and anything which upsets and hurts a woman via our ladybits bypasses all logical thought and goes straight to trauma, because our vagina is US. I also once had a boyfriend who preferred anal sex to vaginal sex and this upset me and made me feel rejected. Because my vagina is ME, and there's really no separating this.
And for someone who has been traumatised in such a way, I can imagine that it may be absolutely terrifying to think that if we, as a society accept that some women are evil and manipulative and claim such horrible things falsely just to ruin a man's life over a grudge that nobody will then take their legitimate trauma seriously.
But the fact that we keep allowing this idea that all women are inherently incapable of malice in this subject area, ALLOWS THE WOMEN THAT ARE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. And if you think this is ok for the greater good of making sure all legitimate rape is addressed because "they're just men" then you're also an awful person assigning blanket blame to an entire gender to support your own agenda.
Like every other fucking controversial topic, one thing being correct doesn't negate the opposite being correct sometimes as well. It's not that simple, some people just are terrible vindictive assholes, and a magical vagina doesn't prevent them from being so.
And I like boobies.
But I'd like to be actual serious on the topic for a bit, here, in my own journal.
It frustrates me that this is yet another topic that turns into a zero sum game. Either you agree that all men are rapists and potential rapists and no woman ever is capable of making up rape, or you're a misogynistic asshole who has probably already raped someone. Or these boobs which exempt me from the possibility of claiming rape falsely also don't exempt me from being a misogynistic asshole if I don't agree with all other females.
By the logic of the thinkers on the far end of the spectrum, I have been raped. I have been raped multiple times, actually, by their definition. I was young and sexually inexperienced, and my boyfriend at the time would whine and cry until I said yes, and then would go at it while I just laid there and stared at the ceiling waiting for it to be over.
By their definition this is rape, is it by mine? No.
Did it suck and was it mentally and emotionally damaging and did it take me a good chunk of my life to come to terms with? Absofuckinglutely.
Could I have prevented this situation? Also absolutely.
Does this make it my fault? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Does this make HIM a rapist? ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was absolutely a terrible situation, and he was probably at some measure of fault for not noticing that I didn't really want what was going on. Which puts it in the category of unwanted sexual activity, but not rape.
The issue is that any unwanted sexual activity is a terribly emotionally charged situation and anything which upsets and hurts a woman via our ladybits bypasses all logical thought and goes straight to trauma, because our vagina is US. I also once had a boyfriend who preferred anal sex to vaginal sex and this upset me and made me feel rejected. Because my vagina is ME, and there's really no separating this.
And for someone who has been traumatised in such a way, I can imagine that it may be absolutely terrifying to think that if we, as a society accept that some women are evil and manipulative and claim such horrible things falsely just to ruin a man's life over a grudge that nobody will then take their legitimate trauma seriously.
But the fact that we keep allowing this idea that all women are inherently incapable of malice in this subject area, ALLOWS THE WOMEN THAT ARE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. And if you think this is ok for the greater good of making sure all legitimate rape is addressed because "they're just men" then you're also an awful person assigning blanket blame to an entire gender to support your own agenda.
Like every other fucking controversial topic, one thing being correct doesn't negate the opposite being correct sometimes as well. It's not that simple, some people just are terrible vindictive assholes, and a magical vagina doesn't prevent them from being so.
And I like boobies.
