used and cast aside.

after reading quite a bit of back journal
reading nothing but me, not talking to anyone online, other than pink on the fon


i've come the conclusion i don't know shit.

that the whole big trying to talk to me and using pinky to talk to me thing was just subterfuge
trying to cover up guilt because he was already lying to me.

at this point nothing would startle me,
i was naive to believe he never cheated.

details do not matter.
he did the two things i asked him NEVER to do
i pointedly asked him never to do
several times.

he lied.
he stayed with me long after he no longer wanted to be.

i expect since mid-living in sacramento, he was done with me.
i'm not upset.
i'm ....
i can't type that noise.
heee
some sort of sigh and head shake.
somehow must learn to not fall for this again.

must go to work now.
i have other things to ponder as well.

TGImF