EXCITEPATED!

is partay time again!
i has to work one more day afore it tho.

but dom
DOMDOMDOMDOMDOMDOMDOMDOM

i miss my dom muchly
we had our first gaming session with my new group last Sunday
had.SO.MUCH.FUN.

and i thought about dom constantly
kept thinking, "oh dom would love this"

we take silly breaks, we go off on tangents, and MrH just lets us go, maybe joins in, then we come back to game

i think we do that well because of our job,
that we get interrupted by work then can go right back to conversation.

we were laughing so hard i almost died, and that was from GAME STUFF,
we had to be quiet tho so we kept smothering faces in pillows to laugh.
but we dun have to be quiet at peanuts house.

it's going to be joint bday party for peanut and Andi
and we're going to try to game after party

drunk gaming?

we shall see what happens, it may just not stop being party or we may party just fine
then game just fine.
we shall see.
we.shall.see.indeed.

gonna pass out now, going to get up and go do laundry at mike's and then take him to work.

m.m.a.s.o.d.
*twitch*
perhaps not to Y.V.T.D.

bah

no shit sherlock, i always get this result

( personality disorder? )

bah, i only think so highly of myself because i AM the greatest thing since bread came sliced
everybody likes me, except people that hate me, but you dun matter then
heee

i'm tired.
didn't sleep much.
must get enough sleep tonight tho so i won't just drink and fall asleep
yus

mmmbleh

i'm on some sort of mission lately to make s sure i'm unfuckoverable

attempting to purge of past secrets.

a friend was trying to insist to me lately that i DO have a conscience.
i still think this is inaccurate.

i'm just wired a certain way,
when i form attachments there are certain things i'm incapable of doing to object of attachment.
i cannot lie, i cannot keep bad secrets,
i cannot purposely do anything that could hurt or have the possibility of even upsetting someone i care for.
i can try ... i fall apart after about 12 hours, sometimes as much as 24 hours
usually within 2.

i don't think i have a conscience, because i have no prevailing sense of "right" or "wrong"
it's a tweak out that i've gone against my programming,
i have labeled it guilt before but that's only a close approximation.
i can count on one hand the times i remember feeling "guilt" and still have some fingers left over.

for the most part i likely am how a lot of people claim to see me

i could give a flying fuck about people who aren't my "family" or friends.

i don't watch the news mostly because i don't give a shit about other people in general.
i don't care to watch yet another distraught welfare mom whining about loss of child thru her own inability to remember it's a bad idea to leave a kid locked in a car on a 100+ degree day
or bitching that the school system isn't doing a good enough job raising her children.

contra wise, sometimes, or with some people i'm entirely the opposite of this
i give too much of a shit, i care too much, about people who aren't worth it or people i barely know.
however, i still don't cry at movies
not that much of a girl.

to put it crudely
i may not give a shit about much of anything or anybody most the time
but when i do, likely nobody will ever give as much of a shit as i do.

i'm not sure that 80% of this said what i was trying to say
dun matter, mental sewage dumpage
*post*