no more (good) words

i can't even explain the situation properly to my best friend
guess cause i don't understand myself

i just want it to stop getting worse.

i don't know how i'm living thru this at all.
i don't know why i can't just give up.
i feel as if an elephant is standing on my chest and won't go away.

i went back through my journal looking for some specific pictures
i want those times back. even in one room at dom's house or in a moterhome.
at least once a month sometimes once i week i'd post that kal was my hero.
not for any superhuman act of boyfriendness, just for being there.
guess it all meant nothing to anyone but me.

yes

"rug suddenly pulled out from under my feet"
very accurately describes how i feel

except every time i manage to stand back up, some sneaky fucker pulls it out from under me again

*shakes her fist at life*

FUCK YOU!
YOU AIN'T GETTING THIS BITCH, I'LL STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET IF I HAVE TO NAIL THE FUCKING RUG TO THE GROUND!

damn skippy.

catness

i have finally put pictures in miss_bob's journal
i have kitten ones of her i'll have to find and put there too

does this still work?

yeah i'm still awake
fuck you buddy, i'm getting sleepy tho, eyes are burny
i should sleep
i'm going thru old journal entries, living in the past.
refusal to accept the present
because the present sucks my left nut

remember me?

i need sleep

(no subject)

sleep or die

*sigh*

i want an avacado and tomato sandwitch

....

i'm the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom you see