hoveringsombrero | no more (good) words

i can't even explain the situation properly to my best friend
guess cause i don't understand myself

i just want it to stop getting worse.

i don't know how i'm living thru this at all.
i don't know why i can't just give up.
i feel as if an elephant is standing on my chest and won't go away.

i went back through my journal looking for some specific pictures
i want those times back. even in one room at dom's house or in a moterhome.
at least once a month sometimes once i week i'd post that kal was my hero.
not for any superhuman act of boyfriendness, just for being there.
guess it all meant nothing to anyone but me.