moo

one more night in the hotel room
kal was suppose to stay with us
but things came up

i was a bitch to him when he tried to say goodbye to me
so i cheated myself out of a good goodbye

but i called when we got back to hotel and apologized
i dunno

i'm sad and confused and i'm beginning to think i'm causing problems
but i'm going to try to banish all paranoid things from my brain and try to sleep

a nicer mantra than last

kal is not dug
i do not by nature FORCE the person i'm with to mistreat me
i'm good enough
i'm smart enough
and godfuckingdamit ... one or two people like me


hey i'm feeling better already ;)
nightnight

hello then

well i had thought that checkout time here was 11
turns out is 12
which is good because i have to be at work at 1 and i don't think it'd take me two hours to get there.
nadin and mister bobcat lefted around 10
so i got up and tried to take a shower but the shower sucks
hot cold hot cold hot cold
scared me
so bath it was again for me.

is good i should always bath when available since i don't have a bath of my own

so since i'm alone here i'm sitting naked in the dark with the heavy curtains closed and one candle burning
i wish i didn't have to leave

i'm in a mope lately, i just want to sit around, sleep, play with laptop, watch tv, sleep
i should get paid for that
it's just a depressed phase, i do like work
just not at the moment, and it's not work's fault
IT'S NOT YOU BABY IT'S ME
heh


current thing: i said "i" in 47 of the last 50 entires