i'm ok

i'm ok
you're ok

things are fine
i would like to say i was overreacting
but really i was just reacting badly

kal is going thru a lot of stuff right now
it just so happens that his way of dealing with things sometimes causes me to have a meltdown
needy stupid bitch that i am

ok well my favoritest brother is over coming to home mine
i thinks we is gonna drink and hang out

yeabob

yeah

i don't wanna go to work
no no no no no
don't wanna

going anyway

ok, i REALLY don't wanna go to work

i feel like crap
my benefits started but my membership card has not shown up yet
so i can't see a doctor yet
i should find my informational package and see if there's a number i can call

not right now
cause i'm going to work
i think

ugh

so i got up
tried to get dressed
ended up sitting in a chair staring at the floor move

called in sick
i'm gonna lay here for a while and try to get up the something to go do some laundry

i tried to find a contact number for my health insurance
but the only i could find is only open mon-fri

drat and blast

my attendance could very well affect my promotion chances
defiantly going to affect my paycheque

however i'm not abusing it and i think i'm at a less count of taking days off for sick than the average employee

so if it is the only thing keeping me from promotion then this sick season will be over soon or i'll get doctors help for it to be over sooner and be perfect and roll off my occurrences and just apply again

i'm so tired all the time

confused

i don't understand where cold wind comes from when all windows are closed

hmm
windows
perhaps windows are 'sekret' wind causing devices

ok mother said i could come do laundry this afternoon
i have to go return something i shouldn't have bought
sushi thoughts are tempting
although i tried to eat something bis morgen and it didn't agree with me much

dunno, dun wanna leave house
but the guilt of the purchase i shouldn't have made is going to bug me until i return it
such a nice coat
suede
faux furry lining
hood
warm

tooeXXXpensivegiveback

ok!

putting on bra
and shoes
bandanna on head

return coat
maybe get some sushi
i'll see how i'm feeling

jesus

rain
uck
badrain

ok actually now it's kinda nice because i'm inside
returned the coat
got gas
and, i am nifty
thanks to a conversation with geekgrrrl in which she reminded me of the name of the sushi place in turlock, i called 411 on my fon and ordered as i was driving back to turlock from ceres

my uvula hurts

hmm

why i haven't been friending some of the recent entries is beyond me
anyway, sometimes it's nice when exactly the opposite of what you're expecting happens

i have talked to kal a few times since my stupidity
even tho i sent him a yelly email (then almost immediately a apology email)
he was not mad
he sounded just very concerned about me

kal having issues over where he's living, he was suppose to move but now he's straddling two place

my hormones are flinging all over the place and knocking people out
my dangly down thing in back of throat is swollen and i keep trying to swallow it

i think i'm going to read and sleep
perchance to have NICE dreams this night

crap crap and more crap

i think i'm just going to go to the emergency room in the morning so i can get a doctors note so i'll only get one occurrence for two days
ugh
fortunately it's not strep, it's just red and a bit swollen
and my head hurts much
fucking sucks.

so i didn't have nice dreams i had the indefinable sick dreams
swirly shapes, uncomfortable colours, loud noises
my ear hurts.

here's a mystery
anny hopped up on me a couple hours ago and woke me up
and she was wet, not like "i'm a dumb cat and fell in toilet or water bowl wet" but rained on wet,
how? she can't get outside. this distresses me