Dare to conform...

[hoveringsombrero]

Why is it that horribly normal people always want to be "different" or at least think they're different?

This ponder comes up because I didn't get the reaction I was expecting from my hair.
Mayhaps it is because it is still rather blue-ish cause a lot of it was over blonde-ish.

To back up in my thought process here.
I often get told things which seem weird to me,
regarding how I look.
That I'm "brave" and "adventurous"
That it somehow made their day to see someone freely "expressing" themselves.

This is how I feel normal.
It doesn't seem brave or weird or, wacky to me.
When I do something that my hair asks to,
I don't feel that I'm changing something,
I feel like I'm putting something back,
or fixing something,
making it right.

As odd as it may seem to some of you,
I don't particularly like the attention my hair causes in public,
or even my tattoos when they're showing.
Yes, sometimes I do, but more often I'd just rather be left alone.

I don't resent it, when it's well-meant compliments,
I'm polite.
I'll take the few mins to answer their "how" and "why" questions.
I take it as ... I guess a duty.
If I'm polite and helpful about it,
maybe it'll change an opinion about
...
people like me.
Maybe they'll be nice to the next little "freak"
because I was polite and articulate about it.

I purposely go to stores with the self check-outs.
I don't like talking to cashiers.
When I'm running errands I don't want to be bothered.

I'm happy if my hair made your day when you saw me in the store.
But I'd prefer it wasn't even of note to you.
I'd prefer you saw me as normal.
Or just saw ME.

I don't find myself particularly unique,
or interesting.
I'm just trying to be the best me I can.
Be comfortable in this skin.
Make my outsides match my insides.

Again, as often happens,
I don't feel that I properly expressed these thoughts.

I don't want to be different,
I just want to be me.
And sometimes it makes me sad that ME
is still different from most people I know.

Comments

[erispie.livejournal.com]

Possible it's akin to the grass is always greener theory.
You would rather be normal.
They would rather be different.

Normal is as normal does,
if you think you're normal you are.

Stop overthinking.

[eris.livejournal.com]

I think I just don't understand people mostly.

It's not that I want to be anything I'm not.
It's that I wish what I was was normal to others.

[erispie.livejournal.com]

Your problem is that you insist on trying to define "normal"
It's just not that black and white.

You are what you are,
if people can't see past what they think of as "weird"
or if they're far too bothered by things like having conversations with yourself like this, far too much to see the you behind it ...
Then it's not a matter of you're not being normal,
it goes back to the problem of YOU PICKING SHITTY FRIENDS!

[eris.livejournal.com]

You make the entire ponder seem so trite now.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I pick shitty friends,
I, ONCE IN A WHILE, misplace my trust.
That's not the same thing.

It does not mean they're shitty friends,
but rather that I misunderstood the depth of the friendship.

But other than that I do see your point.
I try to hard to make things make sense,
that likely will never.

[erispie.livejournal.com]

Hally loo ya!
The female elvis impersonator sees the light!

I knew you wasn't as dumb as you look,
but I still hold that you have picked some shitty friends.
But that's neither here nor there.

Are we gonna get off our ass and go be social now?

[eris.livejournal.com]

Sure, as soon as the boything wants to leave.

[neko.livejournal.com]

As odd as it may seem to some of you,
I don't particularly like the attention my hair causes in public,
or even my tattoos when they're showing.
Yes, sometimes I do, but more often I'd just rather be left alone.

i usually verymuch dislike the attention. i'm usually blonde these days because i'm sick of the pointing from children, or the kids coming up to me telling me i'm their hero. i don't want to be daring and rebelious, i want to just be.

I'm happy if my hair made your day when you saw me in the store.
But I'd prefer it wasn't even of note to you.
I'd prefer you saw me as normal.
Or just saw ME.

i'm waiting for comments about hair colour to start being offensive. i never go up to a black person and tell them 'i like your look.' i want to be holly; the pale girl with the pink hair who doesn't stand out like a sore thumb next to the girls with the blonde, red, brown and black hair.

if life were opened in photoshop, i'd have to put it into greyscale some of the time. being myself is the closest i've felt to living life in public like a celebrity, all because of pigment.


i might have to memorisize this entry.

[eris.livejournal.com]

I really don't understand the "you're so brave" comments or the "I wish I could do that to MY hair" comments.
Different mindset.

It is a little worse when it's extensions,
people will grab my hair without even asking.
Especially people with "normal" braids,
will just grab my braids,
as if they have no clue what braids feel like.

I do like the attention my hair gets from pictures I take for posting,
or from people that I'm close to, friends.

But just random public people,
I'd much rather they saw it as normal and standard as it seems from my point of view.
It's just eris' head.

I like you with pink hair,
I think it's very nifty,
but at the same time it just makes you look like Holly to me.
Same with spanky,
plain brown hair would look weird to me if I saw it on either of you.

[cris-nicewelts.livejournal.com]

I get what you are saying. I think when people say such things, it is more about THEM and what they feel they can or can not do and the reasons behind them.

[joe-black.livejournal.com]

by the way, your new hair color is very cute!

[rageinsilence69.livejournal.com]

I like the way you think. I like the way you analyze things. I love it that you have the courage to be different, whereas I do not. I feel pressure to conform to fit in to my job and to conform to expecations. I know to do otherwise would hurt my career, which i've worked long and hard to establish. but it's silly. Blue is my favorite color by the way! :) jeff

[tocard.livejournal.com]

I hope you made this post becuase you wanted to see who was daring enough to tell you you're being goddamn crazy.

Cuz that'll be me. It's not out of disrespect at ALL either, cuz you know I think you're a hip cat.

I suppose if you don't want people to judge you for your appearance.... then don't CHANGE your appearance from the mundane.

The reason why it makes people's day to see people expressing themselves... is because it's something they wish they could do.. if they didn't like MONEY so damn much.

Did you forget we live in a country primarily dominated by people who are biblical literalists who JUDGE the fuck out of everything?

In order to succeed in business... one has to keep up a certain image... well dressed... well groomed... It's not the most creative thing in the world and there are serious restrictions unless you HAPPEN to work in a field where you are able to GET BY looking how you want.

The WHOLE POINT of conformity of image is specifically so that people's outsides do NOT match their insides... or their personalities.

Business folk want a uniform. They don't want personal lives or stories distracting from "making the deal" or simply "doing business"

In the business world, they want to to match THEIR identity... Not make up your own...

So unless you become a company... and make your identity a larger corporate one... it would be very difficult to succeed in the business world.

When people see someone uniquely expressing their personal image externally,
they either assume that person is very successful, and enough of a success that they are able to express themselves becuase they are hot shit... OR they think you have had the courage to ditch the business world, and just scrape by becuase you refuse to "sell out".

I myself... sold out. I'll dress up on weekends... but I have no tats, I've never had a peircing... and I have only mildly highlighted hair...

I'd love to have had brightly colored hair... I once had calico hair... it was great... but I didn't have it long...

I've also had LONG hair... which made life difficult...

We live in a society of standards set by mainly Christian fundies...

Who mostly want people to be what "god created them to be."

Bleh.

My comment that I made earlier in your next post stands... It looks cute.
If you don't like people giving you postive feedback on your appearance then you probably need a psychiatrist... accept the good energy they are giving you... stop being so damned negative. Give them so positive energy back.. sure maybe they are mindless automotons... but they're sending good vibes your way... and if their sending bad vibes.. big deal.. send good ones back... no sense in spending so much energy on something you can't or are unwilling to change.

Besides this is insane... who the hell is BOTHERED by people telling them they look cute or that they respect you for something...

Attention is attention... be glad you are getting ANY... and feel DESERVING of it.

[eris.livejournal.com]

I didn't even see this reply till now, I'm see if you're on aim if not I'll make a longer reply here.