what a load of crap

[hoveringsombrero]

this is why christians scare me
(courtesy of katy's journal who was reminded of the site by inno)

chick.com

below are exerpts from a tract called bewitched

i couldn't figure out if it was preching against teen pregancy or drugs, guess it's all one big bundle (OF SIN!)

*ahem*

Satan has nothing better to do than watch tv reruns:

buffy the vampire slayer possibly?
oh oh oh, i know! maybe it was that ellen show, made everyone who watched it gay you know

satan is Johnathon frakes(sp?) (riker) and decorates with graphs on Anarchy, porn and homosexuality (gasp) hey i want those graphs


ok, i'm confused, is mother in hell cause she let ashley do drugs, and this sentance cracks me up:
"Father is an excutive and an alcholic" what the fuck does that mean?


LSD and speed make your brain and arteries gel? GEl? is this a medical term?
do theese people BOTHER to consult fact?

(seriously, gel? i'd like to see the medical documentation here)

put down? put down what, or who? oh yeah, and everyone who even thinks about thinking about drugs looks like a hippie


in case the insides gelling wasn't scarey enough, this just in, FLASHBACKS will KILL you dead


yup dead, and it doesn't matter if you confess at the last min, you're still dead


so kids, what's the moral of this story?
drugs are bad?
the word pornography is really funny in a cartoon?

hellifiknow, i haven't slept in hours and hours and hours
next they'll make a tract about the sin of sleep dep

here's my moral

THIS KIND OF CHRISTAN SCARES ME

(isn't my brain sorta gel-like in the first place?)

Comments

Rolling on the floor w/ laughter

[lady-belladonna.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the laugh I needed it. Yeah I would definatly like to see the clinical research that says it will make your arteries gel? This is proof that they still live in the time of their "Savior". *S*

Re: Rolling on the floor w/ laughter

[eris.livejournal.com]

:D (i used up all my psuedo-wit in the post)
:D
(eris)

=)

Re: Rolling on the floor w/ laughter

[projectx.livejournal.com]

SAVE ME SISTER CHAOS!! SAVE ME FROM MYSELF... FORGIVE MY SOBRIATY!!

Um

[l3sli3.livejournal.com]

What's the deal? Ashley lives a fun druggie life, dying blissfully in an LSD flashback only to repent and be saved at the very last second Sounds like the moral is: Do drugs, have fun, let gramma carry the slack until you are on your deathbed, then repent.
Great lesson.

[elgorgo.livejournal.com]

Chick Tracts rule...

I used to work as a desk clerk for a hotel located on a Methodist Assembly... the center for Methodism in the U.S. Or maybe just North Carolina. I don't know. I'm an atheist. I just worked 3rd shift so I wasn't exposed to much of the religious stuff. That, and I think Methodists are far tamer than Baptists.

But occasionally there would be evangelicals leaving Chick Propaganda everywhere. Those things were great to read at 3am. I think my favorite was "Doomtown," the one showing all the evils of Homosexuality, where the evangelical Christian ministering is the gayest looking guy of the bunch. And there was a great one on the evils of Dungeons and Dragons, featuring a game played mostly by girls... uh... I never met a girl who played a role-playing game in high school. It was hillarious.

And as far as reruns go, I would like to vouch for Satan by saying He had nothing to do with the 70's.

Re:

[projectx.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!!!!

Re:

[eris.livejournal.com]

oo i'll have to look for the doomtown one

as for the 70's, as the goddess of chaos i claim NO responsibility for that either, it's my opinion that it was a rouge confused deamon

yup sure
(i don't wanna go to bed mommy)

[dankitti.livejournal.com]

ooo, you are right, satan is johnathan frakes, LSD will make your brain and arteries gel, flashbacks are sometimes lethal, and the show bewitched paved the way for all sorts of occult and vampyre programs.

maybe it's the combination of LSD and speed that causes the arteries to gel. did she make LSD jell-o?

Re:

[lady-belladonna.livejournal.com]

Jello LSD hmmmm...sound interesting...there is always room for jello no?

LSD JELLO

[eris.livejournal.com]

hehe
you should write your own tracts dk
fun

(eris)

Re: LSD JELLO

[cydniey.livejournal.com]

and a lingering death at that . . .

must ALL sinners die in the middle of the night, no matter how early in the day their lethal side effects hit them?

only good poeple die at a decent hour . . .

heathens, tha bunch of ya!!!

[elvis.livejournal.com]

Y'all are just making lite of the fire and brimstone y'all gonna be smelling for all of the afterlife, while I will be up in heaven sipping on a tall glass of ice tea (yes they do have ice tea in heaven, not any of that green herbal crap what taste like it has dried flowers in it) :)
I am a God Fearing Southern Baptist like my momma wanted me to be, I will pray fer all y'alls heathen lost souls. Heh heh heh.