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[hoveringsombrero]

Random thoughts
ever look at/thought of someone and felt glad for their existence just because it was an example of what NOT to be?

it's a vicious circle

looking at someone, thinking "i'm glad i'm not like her", "i'm glad i don't do the stupid things he does", "i'm glad i don't have her habits"

little bit of smug happens

then the doubt

"shit do i sound like her!?" "holy crap, that's something HE would have done"

and you wonder if people are going to see things you do as what she/he does, and you keep quiet, "if i just don't say anything then i won't sound like him/her"

nearly everygoddamnperson in this world has ulterior or sinister motives behind everything they do, so one becomes suspicious of niceness, even if there is no need for suspicion, and one becomes afraid to show any niceness, "they'll just think i'm kissing ass like he does"

it pisses me off, and you know what it is that pisses me off? not what you'd think i'd wager

people like i've spoken of, a person perhaps despite my sometimes highandmighty me i've been at times, really don't get to me all that much, most of the time it's amusing as all hell, and the "i'm glad i'm not him/her" is most oftentimes just a subconscious thought

what pisses me off is when these thoughts do bother me, when i'm sitting reading or zenning, and letting my thoughts wander and realizing i'm thinking these things

is it arrogant as FUCK for me to think i should be above such things?

yeah probably

however that doesn't stop me from being pissed at myself when i don't live up to the stupidly high standards of who i believe i'm supposed to be

BLAH!

other people scare me
i'm glad i'm me

Comments

fnord

[btripp.livejournal.com]

"other people scare me
i'm glad i'm me"



- BT (http://www.preventative-healthcare.com)