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hoveringsombreroI thought of more, damn you micke gonzo for triggering this chain of thought.
If you're male and you are loud and say stupid things on a regular basis, I'm assuming you've got a small dick and are a terrible lay. Especially if you've a fancy, expensive car. If you're male or female and you for some reason just HAVE to end every sentence with a nervous giggle I'm assuming you're a bad kisser, and a terribly lay, and that you're brainless as all hell.
If you're male I won't sleep with you if I have no idea what your dick size is. I'm terribly good at finding out at least a range without being obvious, though sometimes I'll just flat out ask if I've determined that that will be the most successful way of finding out. Also baggy pants are evil and completely unhelpful in this area. If you're female I won't sleep with you unless I've seen you mostly or totally naked already, naked pictures in both instances are a bonus. Unless it's the first contact from a guy and he thinks OH HAI HEREZ A PEEKTURE OF MAH PENIS is a good introduction, DONOTWANT. However, unfairly, naked pictures as first contact from a girl, totally acceptable. Yes it's a double standard, no I don't care.
As a guy, if you're taller than 6'4" you're probably shit out of luck in the getting any from eris department. There is no logical reason for this, too large of a size difference makes me uncomfortable. There's no height requirement for friends, one of my best friends ever is a giant, and he's awesome. I like tall guys of 6'4" and shorter. I like short guys, short guys usually have more personality and are more fun, dunno why. However anything below 5'6" in a guy is going to make me feel very tall and would take some getting used to.
As a girl, if you're taller than 5'10" you're probably also out of luck, and I'll probably just stare at your boobs a lot ... from a distance. I like girls around my height and I like short girls. If I can put my chin on your head while standing, that's endless entertainment to me.
IF YOU ARE A HALFBREED I automatically assume you are a person of depth and substance. I have a definite bias towards halfbreeds, I identify with them, and they're often very attractive to me. Of all my long term friends, it's always been the halfbreeds that I've most felt, really get me, I dunno why, just a thing. Unless you're offended at the term "halfbreed" in that case most of what I say is going to offend you.
There's probably more of these, but I can't think of any.
Please submit all naked pictures to erismay@gmail.com kthxbai.
If you're male and you are loud and say stupid things on a regular basis, I'm assuming you've got a small dick and are a terrible lay. Especially if you've a fancy, expensive car. If you're male or female and you for some reason just HAVE to end every sentence with a nervous giggle I'm assuming you're a bad kisser, and a terribly lay, and that you're brainless as all hell.
If you're male I won't sleep with you if I have no idea what your dick size is. I'm terribly good at finding out at least a range without being obvious, though sometimes I'll just flat out ask if I've determined that that will be the most successful way of finding out. Also baggy pants are evil and completely unhelpful in this area. If you're female I won't sleep with you unless I've seen you mostly or totally naked already, naked pictures in both instances are a bonus. Unless it's the first contact from a guy and he thinks OH HAI HEREZ A PEEKTURE OF MAH PENIS is a good introduction, DONOTWANT. However, unfairly, naked pictures as first contact from a girl, totally acceptable. Yes it's a double standard, no I don't care.
As a guy, if you're taller than 6'4" you're probably shit out of luck in the getting any from eris department. There is no logical reason for this, too large of a size difference makes me uncomfortable. There's no height requirement for friends, one of my best friends ever is a giant, and he's awesome. I like tall guys of 6'4" and shorter. I like short guys, short guys usually have more personality and are more fun, dunno why. However anything below 5'6" in a guy is going to make me feel very tall and would take some getting used to.
As a girl, if you're taller than 5'10" you're probably also out of luck, and I'll probably just stare at your boobs a lot ... from a distance. I like girls around my height and I like short girls. If I can put my chin on your head while standing, that's endless entertainment to me.
IF YOU ARE A HALFBREED I automatically assume you are a person of depth and substance. I have a definite bias towards halfbreeds, I identify with them, and they're often very attractive to me. Of all my long term friends, it's always been the halfbreeds that I've most felt, really get me, I dunno why, just a thing. Unless you're offended at the term "halfbreed" in that case most of what I say is going to offend you.
There's probably more of these, but I can't think of any.
Please submit all naked pictures to erismay@gmail.com kthxbai.
