Happy election season

How about some amusing father quotes instead of the silly mother IMs?

Election season means almost daily phone conversations with that fatherman, I'm apparently good for ranting to.

While I'm talking and suddenly realise that I can hear the TV and he's not listening:
ME: Hey, I can hear your TV, YOU QUIT LISTENING TO ME.
Curtis: No, you work, and watch tv, and text and talk to me at the same time, I'm multi-tasking too!
ME: Except I actually keep listening to you during.
Curtis: Well, I'm still practicing, I'm learning to be presidential!


While being silly at a store with a fake accent:
Shopkeep: Oh, you're British?
Curtis: Yes, some, and other things.
Shopkeep What else are you?
Curtis: Mostly mongrel, little bit of almost everything, I'm American!