Only five days left.

This has been an amazing, tiring, and fun experience,
I'm very glad I had this opportunity,
and I don't regret a thing,
even with all the crazy here.

HOWEVER, the following is a list of things that I will be very glad
to no longer here/have happen on a daily basis:

That damned chime.
Staff pronouncing very as vurry, and diabetes as diabetus.
Other guests whining about the disgusting foods they miss, like twinkies.
Being told ridiculous things like hot peppers cause stomach cancer.
Having to watch my language (shitfuckassbitch).
Tiny shower with inconsistent temperature.
Being in the gender majority (9F, 2M).
Being prayed at multiple times a day.
"Praise the Lord!"
"That's just your body getting rid of the toxins."
"toxins"
"supper"
"Who wants to go for a walk?!"



And to provide a more balanced view,
the following is a list of things I'll miss:

Regular meals prepared by someone who is not me.
Red dirt.
Painted rocks.
Endless supply of herbal teas next to a very hot water tap.
Endless supply of cold filtered water.
Invisible gnomes making my bed and replacing my towels.
A full gym a minutes's walk from my room.
A group of women of wildly differing ages all giggling like teenagers.
(I know I complained about it being mostly women up in the other list, shut up.)
Seeing my father so often.
Having something new, every day, to make fun of with my father or J.
Having a nurse only 10 steps from my room, 24/7.
Fireplace with comfy couches around.
Deer families randomly walking around the grounds in the morning.
Being greeted by and petting the kittycow on my ways to and from the gym.

Zen medicating.

In a similar vein as zen driving, which, if you aren't familiar with, is to pick a car what looks like it really has a purpose and knows where its going, and follow it. The theory being that you may never get to the place you intended, but will always end up where you are most needed.

So, I propose zen medicating. After you do the laundry and while putting away clothes, place various medications (preferably in pill form, but if you're adventurous for liquids, have at it.), randomly, in pockets of all your clothing.
Then, whenever your hand encounters a pill or whatever, in your pocket, swallow it.

WARNING: Do not Zen Medicate while Zen Driving.