If you were a fly on the wall

I made taquitos for J, then sat and watched him eat them.

eris: "My brain is hungry but my stomach says 'fuck you!' "
eris: "It's the foodinthehouse syndrome."
J: "Yeah we actually have it, so you wanna eat it"
(I made a longing sigh and stared at his taquitos.)
J: "Ack, do that again and I'll bitch slap you with my taquito."
J: "Nobody eats my food but me!"
eris: "Your food is monogamous?"
J: "YUP!"

I'm quoting, I promise.

Goodness knows I'd hate to be thought of as insensitive.
I'm all about candy and kittens and special huggings.