![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Feb. 14th, 2006
Top ten reasons why I never friended you back,
or replied to your message, email, 'woo', etc.
10. You have no pictures in your profile/user info,
and nothing you've written is remotely interesting enough to make up for it.
9. You have no pictures in your profile/user info,
and you've no actual content besides something blindingly stupid and misspelt.
Or "i only got dis thing to hit on da hot chicks, sup ladies?".
8. The mere sight of your layout/design caused one of the following:
* Seizures
* Spastic hitting of the back button until I somehow manage to back up till the only dial-up BBS days of the Internet.
* Need for a new keyboard because it got between me and the desk in a case of violent, uncontrollable; *headdesk*.
7. You're only adding me because you think I'm cool and you hope it'll rub off. A. I'm not cool. 2. I'm not cool. C. insert other witty thing here. (Unless you send me presents and make every other post about how nifty I am, then we'll overlook this.)
6. You're only adding me because I offended someone you didn't like and you're hoping I'll do it again. (Ok, this one does have a 50/50 chance of you getting friended back, depending.)
5. I fucked someone you dated/are dating and you're pissy cause I'm a far far better lay than you are, and/or just hope to get dirt to start fights with them or me.
4. I fucked your mom and you're hoping I took pictures and will post them friends only.
3. You think sending me a picture featuring your penis is the best.introduction.ever. and you fully believe my only reaction to it will be a sudden and intense desire to fuck you. (ladies, continue to send me boobie pictures , this does not apply to you.)
2. You're a stereotypical girl who thinks that we must instantly be friends because we both have female naughty bits, and somehow you believe this magically makes me able to relate to your stupid girly non-logic. I do not care about your ugly shoes, your brand name clothes, your hideous boyfriend, and I most certainly do not care about your constant paranoid jealousy when he calls you 2 minutes later than he said he was going to.
And the number ONE REASON:
You cannot make up your mind about any goddamn thing, best example is a LiveJournal example.
"Oh no my stupid drama is too personal and might cause interweb stalkers I must be friends only, here's a big ugly friends only picture as my only public content, now I'm one of the cool kids and you're not."
"Oh no, now I'm not getting enough attention, let's see someone I hate made a post with the first word starting with L, MY NAME STARTS WITH L! THEY MUST BE POSTING ABOUT ME! Now I must make a public post vaguely bitching about them so if they notice I can claim it wasn't about them and they will have started a fight and everyone will see how nifty I am, then I'll panic and go back to friends only in a few days."
No, I don't care that you've friended me and I can see the posts regardless, it is still annoying.
Look, everything on the internets is about ME, not YOU, so if you're not one of the cool kids and I didn't friend back/respond to you, maybe you should try seeing what's outside, reading a book? Developing a hobby? Growing a personality? Then maybe you'll become interesting enough for me to talk to.
or replied to your message, email, 'woo', etc.
10. You have no pictures in your profile/user info,
and nothing you've written is remotely interesting enough to make up for it.
9. You have no pictures in your profile/user info,
and you've no actual content besides something blindingly stupid and misspelt.
Or "i only got dis thing to hit on da hot chicks, sup ladies?".
8. The mere sight of your layout/design caused one of the following:
* Seizures
* Spastic hitting of the back button until I somehow manage to back up till the only dial-up BBS days of the Internet.
* Need for a new keyboard because it got between me and the desk in a case of violent, uncontrollable; *headdesk*.
7. You're only adding me because you think I'm cool and you hope it'll rub off. A. I'm not cool. 2. I'm not cool. C. insert other witty thing here. (Unless you send me presents and make every other post about how nifty I am, then we'll overlook this.)
6. You're only adding me because I offended someone you didn't like and you're hoping I'll do it again. (Ok, this one does have a 50/50 chance of you getting friended back, depending.)
5. I fucked someone you dated/are dating and you're pissy cause I'm a far far better lay than you are, and/or just hope to get dirt to start fights with them or me.
4. I fucked your mom and you're hoping I took pictures and will post them friends only.
3. You think sending me a picture featuring your penis is the best.introduction.ever. and you fully believe my only reaction to it will be a sudden and intense desire to fuck you. (ladies, continue to send me boobie pictures , this does not apply to you.)
2. You're a stereotypical girl who thinks that we must instantly be friends because we both have female naughty bits, and somehow you believe this magically makes me able to relate to your stupid girly non-logic. I do not care about your ugly shoes, your brand name clothes, your hideous boyfriend, and I most certainly do not care about your constant paranoid jealousy when he calls you 2 minutes later than he said he was going to.
And the number ONE REASON:
You cannot make up your mind about any goddamn thing, best example is a LiveJournal example.
"Oh no my stupid drama is too personal and might cause interweb stalkers I must be friends only, here's a big ugly friends only picture as my only public content, now I'm one of the cool kids and you're not."
"Oh no, now I'm not getting enough attention, let's see someone I hate made a post with the first word starting with L, MY NAME STARTS WITH L! THEY MUST BE POSTING ABOUT ME! Now I must make a public post vaguely bitching about them so if they notice I can claim it wasn't about them and they will have started a fight and everyone will see how nifty I am, then I'll panic and go back to friends only in a few days."
No, I don't care that you've friended me and I can see the posts regardless, it is still annoying.
Look, everything on the internets is about ME, not YOU, so if you're not one of the cool kids and I didn't friend back/respond to you, maybe you should try seeing what's outside, reading a book? Developing a hobby? Growing a personality? Then maybe you'll become interesting enough for me to talk to.
I'm on a roll today.
Feb. 14th, 2006 02:30 pmeris: I.need.new.ink. Hook me up, man.
eris: I'm inkless, lacking ink, sadly uninked.
Karl: I have only done one tattoo it was a stick figure but It came out good
eris: OH no no.
eris: I don't think a level of drunk exists that would allow me to let you tattoo me.
eris: Possibly in some other extremely drunk dimension.
Karl: sorry
Karl: i am not a tattoo artist
eris: But you HAVE tattoos, see the connection, like If I wanted crack, and saw you with some, I'd say "hey man, hook me up."
eris: And you'd say "I just do it I don't sell it" and I'd say "BUT YOU GOT IT FROM SOMEWHERE DIDN'T YOU, DIPSHIT!"
Karl: i am not following you
eris: I'm inkless, lacking ink, sadly uninked.
Karl: I have only done one tattoo it was a stick figure but It came out good
eris: OH no no.
eris: I don't think a level of drunk exists that would allow me to let you tattoo me.
eris: Possibly in some other extremely drunk dimension.
Karl: sorry
Karl: i am not a tattoo artist
eris: But you HAVE tattoos, see the connection, like If I wanted crack, and saw you with some, I'd say "hey man, hook me up."
eris: And you'd say "I just do it I don't sell it" and I'd say "BUT YOU GOT IT FROM SOMEWHERE DIDN'T YOU, DIPSHIT!"
Karl: i am not following you