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Jul. 1st, 2003
strange days
Jul. 1st, 2003 11:48 ammy hands are purple i forgot to get gloves
i tried to take a picture of my dyed hands but it just wasn't showing up properly.
people startle me
people amaze me.
i woke up to 2 emails in particular which have my head spinning....
this next bit is going to make me want to friends only this but i'm not
i have a very low opinion of me
something kal always seemed to think i was faking ... because i also have an enormous ego and think i'm the greatest thing since bread came sliced
these things co-exist in my me, it's just how i am,
i'm .... just not use to being argued with.
no that's not what i mean..
let me think ......
ok i'll just make up an example.
for instance if i were to say something like "jesus i'm such a fuck up"
of course i'd like to have someone contradict me
i never expect it, i never say such a thing with the intent to be contradicted..
startles the holy hell out of me when someone does.
that's too broad of an example
there are just things which over time i've come to accept that i'm always wrong in
which is most of everything.
when i say things, in these categories, i think to people i really talk to i expect them to say
"no no, you're wrong, look here's where you're being mildly stupid and a bit insane"
it's constructive.
sometimes strange things happen here's an example of how strange it seems from my point of view
me: "it upsets me that it snows so much whenever it hits 100degrees F"
other person: "well you have every right to be upset everybody hates that damn summer snow, it's unfair, but it's not your fault, not something you can remotely control"
me thinking: *what?? the summer snow isn't all in my head? it's ok for it to upset me?*
i tried to take a picture of my dyed hands but it just wasn't showing up properly.
people startle me
people amaze me.
i woke up to 2 emails in particular which have my head spinning....
this next bit is going to make me want to friends only this but i'm not
i have a very low opinion of me
something kal always seemed to think i was faking ... because i also have an enormous ego and think i'm the greatest thing since bread came sliced
these things co-exist in my me, it's just how i am,
i'm .... just not use to being argued with.
no that's not what i mean..
let me think ......
ok i'll just make up an example.
for instance if i were to say something like "jesus i'm such a fuck up"
of course i'd like to have someone contradict me
i never expect it, i never say such a thing with the intent to be contradicted..
startles the holy hell out of me when someone does.
that's too broad of an example
there are just things which over time i've come to accept that i'm always wrong in
which is most of everything.
when i say things, in these categories, i think to people i really talk to i expect them to say
"no no, you're wrong, look here's where you're being mildly stupid and a bit insane"
it's constructive.
sometimes strange things happen here's an example of how strange it seems from my point of view
me: "it upsets me that it snows so much whenever it hits 100degrees F"
other person: "well you have every right to be upset everybody hates that damn summer snow, it's unfair, but it's not your fault, not something you can remotely control"
me thinking: *what?? the summer snow isn't all in my head? it's ok for it to upset me?*
the first picture cracks me up because it looks like i'm holding the usb cord in the camera
but i'm really just trying to keep the camera steady
the first one is also most accurate colour even tho it's hard to see
the lighting in the second two makes it look burgundyish which it's not it's purplepurple