hooooooooooome

my throat is red and raw
ugh

well, i have a site again
sorta, i swore i'd never put up something half finished ever again
well i guess i lied
it's just a look, nothing useful there, in fact i should remove the cam pages for now, i'll just remove the bits in the iframe
there i just did it, now it won't be refreshing on nothing, i'll put something in the iframes on the campages lader as a placeholder.
hehe altho it doing the warped ooops and then redirecting to the main site is amusing

the middle picture on the splash page will change every time you go to it or refresh the page
but i need to find wherever i stuck the bit of code that did that. i had it all working on warped before when i started making this design. but it dun do it now so dun be refreshy you won't get new picture!

ok i'm going to get off my tired ass and go see if my couch still be in store
COUCH!

HAPPY WEEKEND TO ME

WHINE!

so since i'm a camgirl again, of sorts i shall whine, click that button up there to give me money
why?
no good reason, but here's an iffy reason

i have $40ish left on my credit card, there is an ebay auction i'm watching which is an incomplete laptop of the exact kind as mine, however it contains just about all the parts i need, it's about $27 right now i've not bid on it, just watching
however shipping is $20 so already at the price it's at now is over what i have
and of course i would need to overbid the 27 dollars to win

the most important bit is the screen, when i get the other bits fixed won't do me too much good if my screen dies, it was horribly dim last time i turned on the laptop,
auction ends in nearly 3 days

CLICK A BUTTON!

cryptic disclosure, or eris is still a dumbass, but less so

i became involved with someone i that i had been with in the past
he had a girlfriend before i became involved with him this time.

he said he could deal with my life if i could deal with his.
i decided to believe the words and ignore what i thought i knew about him.

well today he came out and said he can't deal wih me anymore and wants no further contact.
i have no idea if this has anything to do with the girlfriend or my history with him.

maybe i'm too much eris for him.
maybe i was suppose to beg and threaten suicide

better to have loved and lost .......

i'm upset
naturally.
but i've been expecting this,
i'm not as crushed as i thought i'd be.

normally i would know better than to get involved with someone who was CHEATING, i.e. girlfriend has no knowledge and is not accepting of such things.
there were circumstances which made me think it was worth the risk.

and as sucky as i feel right now it was still worth the risk of this happening, i think.
at least an attempt was made,

i may have been a little stupid with this situation but i learned from the previous situation with kal, that i'm not going to attempt to give all of myself to one person ever in the foreseeable future.

that's too much of me to give away, from now on i'm for sharing or renting, and i don't think i'm as upset in what just happened today because i didn't let as much of myself get involved.

it's not a good day for me, but i'll live.
i wish i had a snugglebuddy right now tho.
sad is still sad.

kick ass

haha
charity sent me 32 cents
but stupid paypal won't let me have it because i don't have a bank account
what shit.

oh well, so don't actually paypal me money, not that i was expecting even 32 cents
made me smile lots to see that tho

i once sent every one i knew a bill for a dollar from paypal
i was the only one amused.

eat a cow ASK ME HOW

sad, sad and tired

i've been awake since 7pm yesterday
i'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted
i hope i sleep without bad dreams

must outpass
then wake up and prepare house to receive couch!

oh yeah, all this posting and i forgot to say i bought a couch
yes, for $49.99 and a coffee table
i brought the coffee table home, couch is being held, hopefully husband of mother will help me get it tomorrow, or maybe i can convince someone else if he can't

it's not the couch i wanted, but it's comfy, it's ugly but a good ugly.
i'll take pictures once it's here

nini for me