the best laid plans

i'm feeling shitty
i hope it's just heat and allergies
i got some stuff done but i'm just gonna nap for a few hours and then go over to mother's for laundryness

hmmm

i did remember i had the camera the beginning of the night, this is where i met T, in the modesto mall at this exhibit thing, egyption, which turned out to be all recreations, something about unsafe to travel with the real thing, hmm.

hotel California

( it's just stuck in my head )

You can checkout any time you like,
but you can never leave!

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PENTIUMS

while i'm doing laundry i'm downloading music like mad to burn
cause i've got that nifty system in my car which plays mp3 cds

yeahBITCH

YOU COULD BACK UP YOUR WHOLE HARD DRIVE ON A FLOPPY DISKETTE YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JOKE ON THE INTERNET

....

i am suddenly amazed at the internet
downloading songs nearly instantly

songs which i remember, over 10 years ago, obsessivly listening to the radio trying to tape them.
cassette tapes ....

wondering how i would have reacted if someone told me someday i could just grab them like this.
and burn them onto something which looks like a smally shiny record.

wow.

what .... a ..... thing ....

i feel shitty, oh so shitty.

i'm trying to refrain from replying to posts and/or responses

i'm not feeling well, i hope it's just allergies nstuff
I CANNOT BE SICK

i'm sure once i finish my laundry and go home, and turn on swamp cooler and have a nice sleep i'll feel much better.

(no subject)

i'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
i'm tossing out punchlines that were never there
over my shoulder a piano falls crashing to the ground
i'm breaking through
i'm bending spoons
i'm keeping flowers in full bloom
i'm looking for answers from from the great beyond

(no subject)

i'm regressing
exploring parts of my brain that i thougth perhaps were dead.

my memory doesn't remeber by itself, it's sounds and smells that trigger me
i'm listening to songs i've not listened to in a long time and remembering what it felt like to be a different me. realizeing it's still the same me, just bits of me that have not seen the light in a while.

i realize the slight delirum from not feeling well is adding to this, but that's fine with me.
it's nice that for some reason, even tho i know some of these songs i could find bad past associations if i want ... i'm not remembering those i'm only remembering the good.

what it feels like to be me, what it feels like to like being me, being aware that i mean what i say so much more these days, not that i didn't mean it before ..... there's just more meaning to the meaning again.

i swear i'm not drugged, this is one of those cases of get these words out of my head before they bounce around and bruise my grey matter.

i hate the circumstances which have brought me here, to this place in me i'm at.
but i'm glad i'm here, nonetheless.

( yes i know )