.....

i just don't have anything much to say
sick is lingering longer than expected

i glanced at friends list the other day and i'm way too behind to catch up on everything so i'll try reading just individual journals later
i hope nothing horribly exciteing or interesting happened ;)

um ...... yeah

today

kal and i went to this buffet place that had mongolian bbq and chinese stuff and sushi
mm i had sushi

then we saw shallow hal
why did we see shallow hal?
because it was that or harry potter again
or wade thru the rush hour traffic between the restaurant and home

it was ok

tomorrow we're going to see my father, he wants to pay kal to do something to his computer
and since my father lives in the little town around my brother's school i expect we'll see my brother

um, now i'm watching wrasslin and talking on irc
gonna sleep soon

ok ....

how do i tell my mother i have no real desire to go to her house for xmas because i don't really want to sit thru the awkwardness of sitting there with 2 presents in my lap while my brother opens his 10th present
or because i really don't wish to sit there and smile and nod while my grandmother tries to politely figure out if i'm getting married or exactly what it is i do. and while she rambles on about other grandchildren my age that are attempting to have children and how wonderful (subtle hint) that is.
and the awkwardness of them talking around my hair, my weight, that 'thing' in my tongue

HI MOM I CAN'T SEEM TO RELATE TO YOU OR YOUR PARENTS AND THE LOT OF YOU SEEM TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST STUPIDEST FAILURE IN THE WORLD BECAUSE I DON'T LOOK OR ACT OR LIVE LIKE YOU!!

Dear Santa,
All I'd like for christmas is for more than a couple of my relatives to actually LIKE me.
thanks.
(eris)