overly personal spew at 3am

i feel repressed, sometimes awake at 3am it's almost overwhelming

it's the hair i know it, nothing wrong with the color itself, it's technically flattering
but it's not the color i want it to be

i have only ONE piercing and TWO tattoos,

basically i feel like i'm naked and have on an ugly hat

i don't mind being limited by my belief that i should think about something a lot before getting it tattooed or pierced, i do mind being limited by the responsibility of using money for needed and useful things instead
and feeling repressed and responsible makes me feel old

it is a natural human response for one's brain to think that it must be my life and my situation that's making me feel this way, it must be other people or things causing this .... but that only lasts a second and the part of my brain that sounds like my mother reminds me everything's my fault, and then the id smacks the mother part and says well she's half right, i control my destiny and i control me, and the ego mopes

it's just the 3am whines, and no matter how much my id complains this is just not the time to run away, get everything pierced and tattooed and leave a flaming bag of dogshit on my mother's doorstep on my way to somewhere else

and just to make sure i got it thru my head all of me reminds me that the place i'm at is secondary, places don't make me happy, me makes me happy

hello rut, how's the wife and kids?

bloopy bloopy

salame and salt n vinegar sammaches, and fruit cocktail

oh watch out, i'm healthy now! heh

oh dear

i'm a napster virgin, all i've ever done with it is seen it on kal's computer and closed it

but i've suddenly been possessed by the urge to dl it NOW
what the hell?

silliness

spanky keeps talking about this restaurant he worked at in texas called sonic, and i've never heard about it, well i JUST saw a commercial for it, didn't give me any idea if it was advertising for the central valley or the bay area tho *shrug*

i'm amusing myself with the mocking livejournal portion of deadjournal HERE, i think i'm the only non-anon poster there other than scsi

where is scsi anyway?

i love tv fun house

"i'm sure most of us have lost a grandmother to poon cancer, or a grandfather to cock cancer"

fists of fury!

FEAR THEM!

i believe dom is coming at like 4 or 5am (when he wakes up) to get the couch(es), empty living room then, or rather living room full of boxes and mess

i'll never understand how packing causes more mess, not even huge amounts of packing done, i bet i could fit in a couple of these boxes

hmmm