A sick babble, a sabble?
Sep. 21st, 2005 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hoveringsombreroMy life has been reduced to moments in time,
mundane objects become horribly significant.
I believe I'm on 2 days now with seeming to have no REM sleep,
I have slept just no dreaming, and no full shutdown of brain.
I've begun having some hallucinations,
mostly just shadow figures walking around,
sometimes sounds that only I can hear.
As the most recent acquired OTC medicine is making more headway,
this phenomena becomes more interesting.
Reality is getting thin.
At work I began noticing that my desk,
my computer,
my phone,
seemed to be trying overly hard to be what they were.
Would they lose their purpose, their identity,
if I suddenly had no use for them?
I began to wonder if they would be there when I looked away.
It was as if the energy I put into doing my job,
was the only thing keeping this object which is eris,
solid and in this reality.
Then riding in the car here to cafe from work,
I noticed that everything seemed to be trying very hard to insist it was solid.
Hyper-reality.
As if the full and total meaning of everything was lurking behind this,
this prop reality,
the lamp post was very insistent it existed.
Who am I to disagree?
If I were to do so would it have affected it's beingness?
If I were to continue with REM deprivation,
would I achieve full knowingness,
full enlightenment right before full insanity?
Would it be possible to stop right at that point and keep the knowing?
I would kill just about anyone for real sleep right now,
you have no idea.
The pebbles outside are so significant that they're hurting my head with their insistence of being.
mundane objects become horribly significant.
I believe I'm on 2 days now with seeming to have no REM sleep,
I have slept just no dreaming, and no full shutdown of brain.
I've begun having some hallucinations,
mostly just shadow figures walking around,
sometimes sounds that only I can hear.
As the most recent acquired OTC medicine is making more headway,
this phenomena becomes more interesting.
Reality is getting thin.
At work I began noticing that my desk,
my computer,
my phone,
seemed to be trying overly hard to be what they were.
Would they lose their purpose, their identity,
if I suddenly had no use for them?
I began to wonder if they would be there when I looked away.
It was as if the energy I put into doing my job,
was the only thing keeping this object which is eris,
solid and in this reality.
Then riding in the car here to cafe from work,
I noticed that everything seemed to be trying very hard to insist it was solid.
Hyper-reality.
As if the full and total meaning of everything was lurking behind this,
this prop reality,
the lamp post was very insistent it existed.
Who am I to disagree?
If I were to do so would it have affected it's beingness?
If I were to continue with REM deprivation,
would I achieve full knowingness,
full enlightenment right before full insanity?
Would it be possible to stop right at that point and keep the knowing?
I would kill just about anyone for real sleep right now,
you have no idea.
The pebbles outside are so significant that they're hurting my head with their insistence of being.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-22 07:26 am (UTC)http://www.livejournal.com/users/xhappyx/631457.html
I aint missin you at all.... since you been gone... away... aint missing you.. aint missing you.......
no subject
Date: 2005-09-22 02:43 pm (UTC)have you tried tylenol PM -- they usually work fairly well for me when i run out of my prescription stuff
hope you sleep soon -- it definitely is not good for you
no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 04:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 05:08 am (UTC)notice she never had a successful irc channel since then?
Something recently occured to me,
off all the people who have had conflict with me,
silly or not,
or been mild or active eris haters/dislikers.
You were the only one with balls enough to ever talk DIRECTLY to me.
Nobody else ever has.
Am I THAT scary?
There are two particular "real life" eris haters
who's journals I actually never go to anymore,
but I know they still read me.
But they never have the balls to say anything TO me.
One of whom would't even look me in the eye when leaving,
after not paying me rent for 6 months.
Seriously, what is it?
I can't be that scary, so must be something else,
avoidance of confrontation?
I let the dumbest things confuse my head.
I decided to babble this ponder bits in reply to you,
rather than waste an actual post on it.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 05:09 am (UTC)Damnit eris, Proofread!
no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-01 05:20 am (UTC)eris the concept is somewhat different than eris the actual person.
The trick is to never read anything I say as mallicious or angry unless I'm pretty much pointedly saying so. Most of it is just my fucked up sense of humor.
One particular girl I was somewhat involved with, as soon as she became angry with me for stuff that was actually nothing to do with me at all, also at the same time suddenly bought into all the erisasaconcept online craziness, all the way back to ana shit that she even had little to no participation in.
In fact, hmm.
I probably told you the thing I was about to say already,
and I don't much care to bring it up publically anyhow.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-09 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-10 04:24 am (UTC)Reading this brought the whole few days of memories attached flooding back in great detail, so nifty. This is why I journal, this is my proxy memory.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 07:26 pm (UTC)