I still had this page open as I was pasting things to J at work, after he mentioned he was getting looked at by bossman for giggling at his desk I ceased, but these two made me laugh, the first actually made me snicker uncontrollably for the better part of 5 minutes. Like I thought I was fine, then I'd look at it again and it'd hit me.
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her any more questions... She probably watches me sleep.
Girl, wearing leather pants and high heels, pushing a cart containing D batteries, duct tape, and huge bag of rice, on cell: I don't know why he's so smug, I told him what I would do to him if I caught him again. [pause] Okay, well I've almost got everything I need, I'll be right over.