circles

[hoveringsombrero]

this was not where i thought i'd be 3 years ago
in some ways, in allot of ways, it's better
lots has changed
yet nothing has

kal is out with his friends, dug's coming over to take me out

yes dug,
when my nearly 5 year relationship with dug ended,
did i ever think i'd even SPEAK to him again?

i thought, i thought the thing with kal was just to be fuck friends
i thought that maybe dug would get his shit together and come try to get me back(stupid bitch that i was i wanted that at one point)
i didn't think that things would get better

kal takes damn good care of me
kal is my best friend
and dug is back around

not but just and
my brain doesn't always have a handle on things
Cryo keeps asking me, WHY i let Dug in my life at all
i can come up with many possible explainations
i don't think any are the answer
have i forgiven dug?
not really.
will i ever?
probably not.
Why do i hang out with him?
i don't know.
he's fun? despite being a fuck up he's a nice guy?
questions questions no answers
do i need answers?
i don't know

dug at the door...
more later.