hoveringsombrero | a babble

eris is girlfriendbane

first of all i'm not particularly angsty about either of these situations, i just feel like babbling and wondering perhaps what someone else would do in same situations

i have two entirely unrelated male friends, friend #1 i have known since i was 14 or so, friend #2 i consider a close friend but i've only known him a handful of years
#1 is often online but i dunno if he looks at my journal or site unless i tell him my cam's on, and #2 isn't really an online friend even tho he's in the industry as well sorta, so unlikely he'll see this. or most defiantly either of the girls for that matter
the point being it's pretty much guaranteed that no-one reading this knows who i'm talking about. =)

friend #1 was just a very good friend, we never dated but we nearly fucked once, but were afraid it might taint the friendship, a year or so later he began dating a girl in that circle of friends. she and i got along well but were never close pretty much because i severely confuse her. she's very sweet and conservative, and she was a virgin. she only slept with him because she's convinced they're getting married (which he's not to sure of and he hides a huge chunk of his personality from her, but that's an entirely different issue)
anyhow she's aware of he and my 'history', but she's very sweet and nice and wouldn't ever forbid him from talking with me.
BUT it causes less issues if he pretends he doesn't talk to me, and recently with his work there's been long spots where we don't have contact anyway.

friend #2 is with a girl whom he actually probably would not have met if not for knowing me. and i do not have any such 'history' with him as i do with #1. however his girlfriend is insanely jealous, so she also is not aware that we talk, this is a slightly more touchy situation than the first because i don't think that #1's girl would be anymore than uncomfortable if she found out we still spoke, whereas #2's girl would likely go apeshit if she found out he still talks to me.
but fortunately it's very rare that i run into her, so i'm hoping she's mostly forgot that he and i were friends.

the only thing that sometimes bothers me is that i think hiding friends from your partner kinda indicates problems in the relationship, but both these boys are smart enough to realize that methinks.
it's odd to me that this has happened a lot in my life. actually the first person it happened with was my first college bf carl, whom i ended up actually being the other woman for a week or so before he got up the courage to dump the girlfriend (that should have been a warning sign right off, i know)

it's seems that either i, as a person, make the girlfriend uncomfortable, or the girlfriend sees me as a threat to the relationship in some way.

hehe, i guess i'm just the 'other woman' friendship-wise

HA! actually this has also happened with girls, sometimes the boyfriend is insecure and becomes convinced i'm going to turn their girlfriend gay. this was quite a common situation in college, heh
but i think there were actually more logical grounds for this belief ;)