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"Well, here's the bathrooms, let's see if she fell asleep in here."
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I still had this page open as I was pasting things to J at work, after he mentioned he was getting looked at by bossman for giggling at his desk I ceased, but these two made me laugh, the first actually made me snicker uncontrollably for the better part of 5 minutes. Like I thought I was fine, then I'd look at it again and it'd hit me.

Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her any more questions... She probably watches me sleep.

Girl, wearing leather pants and high heels, pushing a cart containing D batteries, duct tape, and huge bag of rice, on cell: I don't know why he's so smug, I told him what I would do to him if I caught him again. [pause] Okay, well I've almost got everything I need, I'll be right over.

Your what?

Jan. 26th, 2008 03:47 pm
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I'm in the computer room, and Mary, my father's wife just walked by yelling to him.

Mary: "Curtis! Where's your wang machine?!"
Me: "Uh, did she just say WANG machine?"
Curtis: "... SCALE, she means the scale!"
Me: "OH! WeighING MACHINE!"
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I was in Sears today, sitting in the outdoor furniture section while boyperson looked at t00lZ.

I watched an older couple wandering around looking through that section,
they walked up to a tent awning thing over a patio set,
the woman, stopped, stared up at it, then turned to the dude and said,

"Is this even allowed? I mean, isn't it like opening up an umbrella indoors?"

Dude looked up at it as well and replied,

"No, it's more like a building or a tent, so it's ok."

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