PREACH IT!

Nov. 14th, 2008 07:41 am
hoveringsombrero: (#!/usr/bin/eris)
eris: HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT SMALL FURRY FAGGOTS, MY FRIEND?
DOM!: INDEED I HAVE! THEY ARE SMALL AND FURY AND FIT WELL INTO MY PANTS! ALL PRAISE FAGGOTCATJESUS AND HIS RAGTIME JAMBOREE!
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: OH, also, Happy One Week Earholeaversary.
Mother: Happy One Week Earholeaversary to you also

Moose?

Jul. 28th, 2008 02:56 pm
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
Mother: Moose poop on my computer desk
Mother: Mouse poop
eris: Mouse poop?
Mother: Mouse droppings
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
Mother: I need to get out and walk,
erisr: I need to take a shower, I'm very sore from yesterday.
Mother: Al thinks he'll be home around noon, I don't know if he found his come-a-long yet?
eris: His whatsit?
Mother: His come-a-long, it pull the jeep up on the dolly. Hopefully he can find it otherwise, you have to push the jeep on.
eris: Ah, ok.
Mother: When I downloaded the new version of trillian, it loaded on a weather channel, It says it is 80.  It makes little noises when the temperature goes up or down and blinks when there is a weather warning.  Bye for now
eris: Haha, nice. Enjoy your walk, I'm off to shake the tower.
Mother: Have a nice shower

(time passes)

Mother: Tower shook?
eris: Tower shook.
Mother: I'm off to soak the fuhrstunken off.
eris: Good luck with that.
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
Mother: I was dreaming I was talking to a piercer and asked him if he could put a four-wheel drive in.  I was tickled at the play on words and woke up, then I was wondering what a four-wheel drive was.  I told Al, he said it was two holes in each ear
eris: haha.
eris: I kept trying to not lay on my ear while I was half asleep.
eris: I failed.
Mother: Yeh, I kept trying to stick my hand to see how much pressure was on the piercey part of my ear, more than I thought.
hoveringsombrero: (omg eris)
As we were walking home from groceries last night.

me: Hey Josh?
J: What?
me: I left a good job in the city ...
J:  (he raises a confused eyebrow at me.)
me: Working for the man, every night and day!
J: AHHH! Shut up, or I'll kick you.
me: ...
J: ...
me: ...
J: (almost starts to hum) DAMN YOU!
me: The chorus totally just started up in your head, didn't it?
J:  I hate you.
me: Rolling! Rolling! (starting to dance) rolling on th...
J: AHHH! SHUT UP!

He then tried to hit me with his soda bottle, which I deftly blocked with my water bottle,
then I had to stop giggling or I was going to pee myself.
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: I enjoy being home alone, nobody makes fun of me for my random singing and talking.
eris: Just the cat, and her judging eyes.
nadin: lol, my cat can't hear so i am good
eris: You has a deaf pussy?
nadin: yup
eris: That's amusing.
eris: Can you sneak up on it?
nadin: sometime
eris: Does it startle?
eris: OMG HUMAN!
nadin: lol yup then glare
eris: hahaha
eris: Fantastic.
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
SCSi: !!!PREPARE FOR SEXUAL HARRASSING TRANSMISSION ON PHONE!!!
SCSi: i want to shove pears in your buttocks
SCSi: !!!END SEUXAL HARRASSING TRANSMISSION!!!
eris: OMG I'M SO OFFENDED
SCSi: !!!PREPARE FOR SNARKY REMARK TRANSMISSION!!!
SCSi: so was the pear
SCSi: !!!END SNARKY REMARK TRANSMISSION!!!
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: Your state has the gay! Better hurry up and dump tiff and drag dom down to the courthouse and marry him.
SCSi: hahah
eris: HURRY!
SCSi: OMW!
eris: YAY
DOM!: YAY
SCSi: YAY
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: I has a fever!
GRG: nooooooooooo
GRG: It's not disco fever, is it?
eris: maybe
eris: Happy Dos de Mayo.
GRG: Are you counting down till the 5th?
eris: Fuck cinco.
eris: Dos is where it's at.
GRG: At least it's a Friday
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
mfree: long cat
eris: is long
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
Lost: i think i died during my lie down.
eris: R U zombie?
Lost: maybe
eris: I has no brains, I am safe.
Lost: brain colored meat in there, at least?
eris: Nah, empty.
eris: Full of crazy, probably.
eris: Or marshmallows.
eris: Crazy flavoured marshmallows.
eris: They're good with chocolate flavoured rape.
eris: Wait.
eris: I somehow ended up offering you my brains for eating.
Lost: you did.
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: When I'm ridiculously wealthy I'm going to have a small office building with cubes, and I'm going to hire people who will never exactly know what they do.
eris: They'll sit in their cubes, and answer emails, be told to research random topics. And there will be weekly and random meetings which won't help at all.
J: *snicker*
eris: Occasionally they'll get talked to for not being on the internet enough, or for using too many vowels in a memo.
J: hehehe
eris: If they question too much, they'll get suspended with pay, and privately have the thing explained to them, so when they return from suspension they'll be all WITH THE PROGRAM, and help confuse the other workers.
eris: I bet dom and grg would be really good at thinking up projects for the employees to do.
J: heh you're a dork
eris: You can be one of the managers. you can have a big fancy office.
eris: But you are required to walk through the office a few times a day, looking very frazzled and muttering, and sometimes stop and criticise an employee over something pointless.
eris: "Why do you have so many paperclips on your desk? This doesn't seem professional" *stalk away muttering about elephants*

OMG CAWK

Mar. 23rd, 2008 08:51 pm
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: I SMELL BAD
mfree: there are fixes for that situation
eris: I R STINKAH
eris: AREN'T YOU GLAD AIM DOESN'T HAVE SMELLOVISION?
mfree: probably
eris: I added coffee to twitchy brain, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.
mfree: lest I chat with anyone in New Jersey and get the vapors...
eris: Also, been reading icanhascheezburger.com
eris: I was just sitting here thinking, "man, what smells like armpit?" "OMG ITZME"
eris: Aren't you glad you're my onlinefriend?
mfree: hehehe
eris: eris stink level updates = the only reason to be online.
mfree: well, that and a long time ago you showed everyone t3h b3wbs
eris: HAHAHAHA, "Yeah, that weirdo? I talk to her cause she let me see her boobs, once. Maybe it'll happen again."
mfree: I know you only talk to me because shortly thereafter my cawk was on a community...
eris: I now know what the subject of my post containing this transcript will be.
hoveringsombrero: (omg eris)
eris: I DON'T WANT MY LJ IN A COCONUT SHELL
J: tough coconuts
eris: I DID NOT SEE A NEWS POST REGARDING THIS OUTAGE.
eris: I HAVE NEWS ON MY FLIST FOR THIS REASON
eris: WHY HAVE THEY TAKEN AWAY MY LJ?
J: why are you yelling at me?
eris: I AM DISTRESSED.
J: so that means you must yell at me?
eris: YES.
J: well stop
eris: I WISH TO PASTE THIS INTO MY LJ BUT .... I CANNOT!
J: don't mean you must yell at me
eris: yesitdoes.
eris: mexicansareforyellingat.
J: stop or you go on the ignoring list
eris: i'mnolongeryellingOMG.
J: ...ok
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: ERIS BEATER
J: she was askin for it
eris: feedme
J: you're the "housegirlfriend"
J: you feed me
eris: heh
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: .A STRONG LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM WILL MOVE ACROSS THE GREAT BASIN
TONIGHT AND WEDNESDAY RESULTING IN STRONG WINDS ACROSS THE MOJAVE
DESERT.

AREAS OF BLOWING DUST CAN BE EXPECTED...ESPECIALLY ACROSS THE
DESERTS OF SOUTHEAST CALIFORNIA AND SOUTHERN NEVADA. THE STRONG
WINDS WILL CREATE ADVERSE DRIVING CONDITIONS...PARTICULARLY FOR
HIGH PROFILE VEHICLES ON NORTH-SOUTH ORIENTED ROADS.
J: well damn it's gonna suck walking tmw
eris: You might blow away.
eris: You fragile little man.
J: piss of
eris: piss of what?
J: of = off
eris: TOO SLOW
J: and i'm ignoring you now
eris: This is new how?
J: normally you don't get to chat with me first
J: nor be warned
eris: You're really bad at this ignoring thing.
eris: Or just slow, apparently.
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: I walked to the store and got packing tape, a fat sharpie and more crampy drugZ.
DOM: Did you stab any hobos on the way there and back?
eris: There weren't any around, sadly.
DOM: Isn't that always the case? But you leave the house without your hobo-shank and they are FUCKING EVERYWHERE
eris: SRSLY

hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: This is fucking scary http://community.livejournal.com/wtf_omgz/1368666.html
J: good god
eris: I think that made my vagina grow shut.
J: no doubt
J: made my penis shrink as if to hide
eris: Fear of the larger predator?
J: seriously
eris: and it's a GAY monster cock, no less.
eris: It might try to EAT yours.
J: seriously
eris: Like a fucking dune worm.
eris: RARR *chomp*
eris: If I wasn't getting any before ...
J: *shudder*

bobtastic

Apr. 1st, 2007 07:22 pm
hoveringsombrero: (Default)
eris: I have the entire white stripes discography in one playlist, and that's all.
bob: hahaha
eris: I've been only listening to that, except for radio on fon, for the past monthish.
bob: what about your boyfriend?
eris: ?
bob: what's his name
bob: the boy you were oogling over
bob: band
bob: he was in a band
eris: ahaha
eris: You mean my chemical romance?
bob: yeah
eris: Gerard Way?
eris: hee
bob: sure
eris: WHAT ABOUT HIM?
bob: you listen to him, don't you?
eris: He didn't put out so I had to turn to Jack and meg white?
bob: hahahaha
eris: Iprefercouplesanyway?
bob: hahaha
eris: =D
bob: mm couples

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