hoveringsombrero: (Default)
[personal profile] hoveringsombrero
I've been deeply distressed by the Elliot Rodger thing, which is a strange experience for me. These large tragedies are always sad, but they don't tend to affect me personally if I haven't got any connections to anyone remotely involved.

I've got trauma in my past, starting at 4-5 years old, and again at a few points in late teen and early 20s. For a while this made me incredibly wary of a certain type of man (tall, light hair, light eyes) due to associations. But I've never felt particularly unsafe being Female In Public. I get hit on or hassled at least once every time I'm out alone, but it's never been super aggressive. Men have occasionally gotten very rude and insulting when I ignore them or turn them down, but then they just walk away. As such this hasn't been a thing about which I've worried overmuch.

I read the entire 140 page manifesto and watched several of the videos. I was distressed, but mostly sad. It seems to me to be a clear case of a domestic terrorist who did not accept the mental health help he sorely needed.

Then I read THIS. Logically I realise that these scary men are likely just an incredibly vocal minority due to the magic of the Internet. But it's incredibly disturbing.

Initially I'd hoped that similar men would read Rodger's screed, see themselves in it and have an epiphany of "I'm being an idiot" or "I need help!" but after reading that Jezebel thing I'm now more than a little terrified of those who are looking up to him as some sort of hero, and very worried that the next hassling dude that I ignore is going to decide to To Something About It.

I'm not sure how to deal with this. Do I arm myself when I go out alone, or do I just get over it? I don't know. I've never experienced this much fear simply for being female, and I don't like it.
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